It’s 2025, the fireworks are fading, your champagne’s gone flat, and somewhere deep in the Solana blockchain, another fresh scam is being minted faster than your uncle can ask, “What’s a blockchain, anyway?”
But here we are – alive, surviving, clutching our fragile wallets, and staring into the cold, unblinking eye of another year in crypto. And what a mess 2024 left us.
The truth is, $DAD and $HYPU aren’t isolated events. They’re just the final boss fights of a year filled with fake liquidity, AI-generated whitepapers, and token launches that had less planning than my last-minute New Year’s party.
So let’s start 2025 with a resolution, friends: Do some research before you ape in. For the love of Satoshi, stop throwing your paycheck at every flashy four-letter ticker on Solana.
But first, let’s reflect on the absolute clown parade we witnessed over the last week.
$DAD – “Is it Pumping, Son?”
No, son. It’s not pumping. It’s plummeting, and the devs have already spent your tuition money on vape cartridges and scratch-off tickets.
A project that had everything: fake metrics, fake liquidity, fake community numbers, and yet… no Twitter account, no domain name, and no future.
We tried to warn you: The $DAD Disaster.
If a project can’t even afford their own domain name, they probably can’t afford to be honest either.
$HYPU — The Terminally Fake Terminal
$HYPU tried a fresh approach: a fake web terminal complete with the default username “degenerate@hyperutility”. At least they’re honest about who they’re targeting.
Their roadmap was less of a plan and more of a fever dream:
– Launch a token.
– Buy 30% of the supply.
– Promise some vague “utility.”
– Disappear when the liquidity vanishes.
Their holders? Mostly bots. Their chart? Painted by algorithms with the subtlety of a chainsaw. Their community? AI-generated gangster avatars flexing imaginary trades.
I tried the terminal myself. The only command that seems to work is: “EXIT.”
Read the full breakdown here: The $HYPU Hilarity.
If a website calls you a degenerate, it’s probably not a great investment.
$FLSH – LEDGAL DISCLAIMER
If $FLSH’s fake trading volume and repetitive bot chart patterns weren’t enough, their whitepaper literally started with a typo: “LEDGAL DISCLAIMER.”
Not legal. LEDGAL.
We couldn’t even roast this one properly because it roasted itself straight out of the gate.
No whitepaper worth reading, no roadmap worth following, and no liquidity worth trusting.
Check out the full breakdown: The $FLSH Fiasco.
If the first page of the whitepaper looks like a phishing email, don’t invest.
$HOPE – The Most Ironic Ticker of 2024
$HOPE gave us… well, hope. But only for about five minutes before it pulled the classic “fake volume, real rug” routine.
Liquidity vanished faster than a Crypto CEO under subpoena, and the only thing left behind was a smoldering crater where optimism used to live.
Read the eulogy here: The $HOPE Hoax.
If your ticker is literally “HOPE,” you’d better deliver something other than regret.
$AETHER – Just Vibes, No Substance
$AETHER promised… honestly, I don’t even remember what they promised.
The only thing that stood out was the uncanny ability to generate fake engagement while delivering zero actual value.
If vaporware had a mascot, it’d be $AETHER.
Dive into the mist here: The $AETHER Abyss.
If a project sounds like the name of a rejected Marvel villain, it’s probably not your golden ticket.
Everything is a Scam… Or is it?
The vibe across the market has been best summarized by Basic-Sky-8125 on Reddit, who delivered this masterpiece:
Literally every single coin is a scam… I’d rather go back to losing my money on actual companies in the stock market than fighting with you jeets. F*** Solana.
Honestly, hard to argue. But here’s the thing – amidst the scams, the rugs, and the AI-generated Twitter shills flexing nonexistent bags, there are good projects.
They’re just buried under a mountain of nonsense, fake volume charts, and developers who couldn’t spell “liquidity” with autocorrect turned on.
New Year, New Rules
Let’s make 2025 the year we stop falling for:
- Tokens that promise utility after they’ve already launched.
- Whitepapers that can’t spell “legal.”
- Websites that are just glorified loading screens.
- Roadmaps written on cocktail napkins.
If it looks like a scam, smells like a scam, and tweets like a scam – it’s probably a scam.
Happy New Year, Stay Sharp
2024 was chaos, but chaos is where the opportunities hide. Stay sharp, do your research, and remember:
The blockchain never lies, but people do.
If you want to stay one step ahead of the next rug pull, follow @AlphaCove on Twitter. Always there, sifting through this madness, so you don’t have to.